Heavenly Mamas and Children

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I think it really began when Lucy died.

After swimming in Malynn's fish tank for only a month, Lucy, an angelfish Malynn got for her birthday, had gone to where fish must go at some point: Fish Heaven. Since then, Malynn has witnessed an earthworm go to Earthworm Heaven, Charlotte (from the newest Charlotte's Web movie--we love it!) go to Spider Heaven, and even the armadillo on the side of the road go to Armadillo Heaven. It's as if our night-time prayers, stories, and hopes are all coming together in her mind--and it's so exciting to watch!

She's been dressing up as Mary--toting baby Jesus--and riding on top of an ice chest to pretend it's a donkey! She told me that she just knew I would be thin in Heaven (I can only hope!), but she would still recognize my face. :) When she came running out of her Sunday school class with this picture that she colored, it made me smile. I knew she didn't draw the actual picture, but I loved her choices of colors for Heaven. I knew immediately that she thought it was a nice place: She used her favorite color of turquoise in several areas. At four--an age I am absolutely loving--Malynn is really trying to make sense of it all. Each person or creature's beginning. Each ending.

With the talk of Heaven, she's also begin talking more about babies and where they "originate." :) She sticks balls under her shirt--at her tummy--to signify what her China mom (the name she has chosen to call her birth mom) must have looked like carrying her. She sticks balls under her shirt--at her heart--to signify what I must have looked like when I carried her "in my heart." I'm grappling with ways to make a better comparison, but at her age, everything is so literal.

At Mother's Day, I once again am feeling the loss for her China mom--and a piece of the loss Malynn will--without a doubt--someday feel for her. But it does help to know that my daughter is developing those reasoning tools--and coping tools--that I pray will help her to make sense of it all.

Take care and Happy Mother's Day!

Stefani